Recently I listened to an author describe how her marriage was breaking-up while she was writing a novel on Unconditional Love. A complete contradiction. Yet she continued her research, her writing and ended up with a best-seller, fighting the urge to quit and growing even more deeper in compassion for those who experienced divorce and lost dreams.
And rising above the schemes of the enemy.
Recently a friend commented to me, "Lynn, I think the enemy has been right on you tail."
After a loss of my own, I found myself doing all the 'right' things the experts advise to overcome. I stayed busy through new adventures in travels and hobbies. I sought out counselling at my church and attended retreats. I was generous and compassionate, giving where I could. And as I finally felt I turned a corner, I had the biggest test. And fell apart, the fruit of the spirit of self-control completely non-existent in those moments. And I am still reaping the consequences. I made a MISTAKE. I failed the test.
Or did I really fail?
Lord upholds his hand. Psalm 37:24
Since then God has placed me in surprise situations where I can only look up to Him say, "I don't understand why You have placed me here as it is painful. But I will Trust You."
And I found myself having to cling to Him like never before to get myself through.
My soul clings to You. Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:8
And he provided me all that I needed through compassion of friends who have been where I have been and through wise counsel of others who show me where I still need to grow.
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
And I am increasingly hearing His voice as I look upon Him for direction and hope, and acceptance.
Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. Jeremiah 33:3
And I know I have been in a battle for my mind.
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12
Recently I accidently came upon a situation that left me shaking. And I got a Jesus 'mind-nudge.' "Lynn, you asked a question this morning to me in your prayers and now is the time to find out." So I responded to the situation. And found out the answer. And discovered (with the help of three wise prayer partners) that my heart still has an idol that hooks me into the enemies grip.
He is transforming me through conviction.
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-21
Recently I was honoured by someone who shared a story of choices leading to destruction and now is beginning a healing journey. You see past me and into my heart, this person told me.
He is using me.
I know God will make a message out of my mistakes, and will strengthen me to pass the next test so I can be a testimony. In the meantime, I will not quit. Even though my life is not perfect, even contradictory at times, I will continue using my gifts and talents. And take a step at a time, relinquishing control, and walking with Him in His love and concern for me.
You never know but I might just write a best-seller too.
Has God made a message out of your mistakes?
"When the hurting and the healing feel the same....
When my world comes crashing down around my head.
And I, I feel like I got nothing left. Oh, Oh, I'm not in control oh oh
But it is well with my soul," David Dunn, It is Well