Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A new place

Hello Friends,

I have a new place! I will still be posting here as my personal blog. Today though, I am sharing a link to my website that also features a blog. I hope you'll drop in to see it, and leave a comment as I would love to read your feed back!  I will be back here posting next week. 



Link Below

Friday, November 13, 2015

Selflessness of Happy

My idea of absolute happiness is to be in bed on a rainy day, with my blankie, my cat, and my dog.
Ann Lamott

I have blue spiral notebooks. The scholastic ones. The notebooks that come in various page numbers, however I tend to like the ones with 150 pages. And has to be lined pages. Sometimes I pick up red, and green covered notebooks that are 80 pages long. But these are for other tasks. Never to journal. My journal has to be blue.

And my pen has to be blue. Extra fine blue.

Black pens go in the garbage.

Some may say I have a bit of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) over pens and paper. Or consider me Gold when it comes to personality colours; one who is extremely organized and likes things, like notebooks, to be colour coded.

I disagree.


It is just that blue notebooks and fine blue pens make me happy. Yup! It just feels right and peaceful.

 “The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted...." Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Recently though, I found myself feeling guilty over feeling happy. And questioned my friend. 

"Am I allowed to feel this joyful?" I asked her, as I wearily carried a box full of party items to my car, the night air cool, and the neighbourhood quiet as would be expected at that midnight hour.  We'd just finished cleaning up a hall where approximately 70 plus people socialized, danced, and gave, their generosity tucked now in dozens of bags full of winter items for a homeless shelter in my city.  

"Ah..yeah. There's nothing wrong with being happy,' she replied. "I don't believe God wants us to be miserable even when we are doing His work. I mean, yes some of God's work is darn hard and messy, but I don't think being miserable makes the work more valued." 

"But I got to dance and socialize, and see connections made," I said."Even practice public speaking on a mic."

She laughed. "Lynn, I would have hated that part, talking in a mic. Even creating this whole event. And you took joy in it. We all have our different gifts and talents that bring us joy. Thankfully so, 'cause I could never do what you did tonight. I'd take casting two broken legs over this anytime.'

"I'd faint! Good thing your the nurse." I slid the box into the truck of my car, my arms relieved of the heavy load. I turned to my friend, gave her a hug, thoughts too swirling of a blue spiral notebook that would soon have the evenings reflections written on its pages. 

Do you accept the joy when doing God's work? 

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Picture Perfect

I listened to their voices, one deep, one high, an orchestra of rustling leaves accompanying their chatter.  The voices came from behind me, up a bank, in a campsite bordered by mountain ash and pine trees. My arms wrapped my legs that were drawn up against my chest, a weathered wooden picnic bench supporting me, and a still lake and boating dock stretched out before me, still in my view.

The chatter increased in volume, and soon a couple I guessed to be each in their 70th decade, came into my view.

"Hi!" the man said, two fishing rods in one hand, and a tackle box in the other. The woman beside him smiled at me, stopped and rested on the ground the metal lawn chairs she carried in each hand.

"Oh my, leave those chairs there and I will come back for them,' the man said and I watched, a grin lifting each corner of my mouth. He ran, his flip flops clicking on the wood slats of the dock. Reaching the tip, he dropped the tackle box and fishing rods, and then ran back to her.

I nodded in affirmation as the woman remarked what a beautiful day it was, looking up into a clear blue sky then back at me, her blue faded eyes catching a moment with mine. Moments later they both sat on the edge of the dock, chairs back to back, fishing rods in the water.

I never regretted not having my camera as much as I did at that moment.

What a gift to be witnessing!

A beautiful picture. One post cards are made of, happening right in front of me.

This was a few months ago, this moment, on a day where I just got in my car and drove to the lake, feeling in my spirit the need of nature, of quiet, of solitude. I had many moments this past summer, spent on that same picnic bench, looking at that same view. But although in the same place, each and every time it was a different experience. Different people, different sounds, different cloud formations. Even the lake changed with the effects of where the sun lay at that moment, how the wind blew in.


Over a year ago, during a change in my life, someone said to me, "This is going to make you stronger."

I refrained from taking my purse and swapping him over the head.

My inner self was screaming. "I don't want to grow stronger. I just want to stay where I am! I kind of like it here!"

But God definitely had another plan.

There were times I shook my fist at Him, and times that I was on on my knees surrendering, letting Him fade my broken dreams with His light.

His light shining in this same place of me, but making it different.

Changing me.

And forming a different, but new picture.

A new picture from the One whose love and mercy never changes, the One that always holds us, even when the scenes are changing. 

Lamentations 3:21-23 
But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
 his mercies never come to an end;
 they are new every morning;
 great is your faithfulness.

Love you,


Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Love Project-Week One Lesson Loving me is not making pies (butsometimes it is)!

"Have you seen this puzzle ap?" She pushes her phone across the table to me, between our Starbucks teas.

"Nope," I say, and glance down at the various animal pictures she points to on her screen.

"I just finished this one of the lions. It's fun." I look up, pleased to see her smile. She obviously takes joy from doing these electronic puzzles. And I am happy for her. Happy that she is taking time for her, discovering joy in finding activities that are fun and give her joy. And that show she is giving herself permission to be, well, her.

And I wondered, who is Lynn? Do I give myself permission to just be me? What gives me joy?

Sometimes I think I know what should give me joy but doesn't. And a sense of guilt kicks in. Like the other day when a good friend of mine posted a picture on face book of his breakfast--Saskatoon Pie lovingly made by his girlfriend. And I thought, I should be making homemade pies. To be loving means baking home made pies.

And then came the thought that I have no desire to make home made pies.  Nope, not my thing. So am I not loving then?

I thought about when I did last make a home made pie. It was a special lemon pie where I even juiced my own lemons (and had to buy a special gadget to do this). It was part of a Valentine's dinner I was making for my then boyfriend, who was born and raised American (Pennsylvania) and loved New Orleans. So I made Jambalaya too and even had to research where to find the special sausage in my city. Not just regular Italian Sausage from Safeway. No ma'am. I had to go to a butcher shop. The lemon pie was a recipe from a famous (according to Google) New Orleans restaurant. And I absolutely loved making the pie, and the entire dinner. And felt so much joy serving it.

And I realized. thinking about this dinner, that the motivation to bake this pie, make this special meal, was not from a love of baking pies. But rather a love of gift giving. A love to discover what someone likes, and then be able to provide that to them. Sometimes I feel so joyful doing this, that I feel guilty, selfish even!

So who is Lynn? Well, she doesn't like baking pies just 'cause. And I give myself permission to NOT like baking pies just 'cause!

Yet I do receive joy and I love on me when I can give someone else something they take joy and love in. And that just might be a New Orleans lemon pie.

Lynn's Loving Self Rules Week #1

1. Be Lynn (no 'shoulding' self)
2. Give Gifts

Is there something you are doing just 'cause you think you should just because others like to do this something? Is there something you are 'shoulding' on your self that you need to let go of to love on you?

Love you,


Lemon Ice Box Pie
© Taunton Press

Lemon Ice Box Pie

This silken frozen pie is adapted from Clancy's, one of David Guas's favorite New Orleans neighborhood restaurants. (Recipe adapted from DamGoodSweet.)
  1. 14 whole graham crackers, broken
  2. 1/4 cup sugar
  3. 1/4 teaspoon salt
  4. 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
  5. Two 14-ounce cans sweetened condensed milk
  6. 1 1/4 cups fresh lemon juice, plus 2 tablespoons finely grated lemon zest
  7. 8 large egg yolks
  1.  Preheat the oven to 325°. In a food processor, pulse the graham crackers with the sugar and salt until finely ground but not powdery. Add the butter and pulse until the crumbs are evenly moistened; transfer to a 9-inch springform pan and press into the bottom and two-thirds up the side. Set the pan on a rimmed baking sheet.
  2.  In a medium bowl, whisk the condensed milk with the lemon juice. In another bowl, using a handheld mixer, beat the lemon zest with the egg yolks until pale. Beat in the condensed milk mixture until smooth. Pour the filling into the crust.
  3.  Bake the pie for 25 minutes, until the center jiggles slightly and the edges are set. Transfer the pan to a rack; let cool for 1 hour. Loosely cover the pan with plastic wrap and freeze the pie for at least 6 hours.
  4.  Wrap a warm, damp kitchen towel around the side of the springform pan to release the pie; remove the ring. Using a hot knife, slice the pie, transfer to plates and serve.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

The next step...The Love Project

It's been awhile since I have written a blog post. Currently I am out of town for work, in a city just a three hour drive south of where I live. A city too, I have considered moving to, settling somewhere new. A new beginning, a fresh start. But as the ol' saying goes-"where I go, so do I go too." There is no running away from self.

It has been almost a year since starting on a deep healing journey. And just when I think I have reached the end, God brings on something in an event, or in words from one I respect, or in an uncomfortable spirit I can't shake and I feel the bleeding again. But without the bleeding out, there would be no healing.

A healing that cannot happen without the 'strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them" (taken from a meme a friend posted on my facebook page recently).  Just the night before, I had been in a surprise of tears on this friend's couch, a couch I occupy about once a month along with three other girls gathering for a night of prayer.

And finally on this night, I opened up, told all, unveiling the fraudulent feelings from an unbelief that I can really be redeemed from a past that I read over, and over, and over again in 'Christian' articles, to never have in the first place.

Can God really see me as transformed and a new person in Him? And can my life really reflect a redeemed life?

Can I truly be accepted by Him, and others fully and completely? And be loved unconditionally. And ACCEPT that unconditional love regardless of my past?

So, my sisters and brothers, I embark on this next step of my healing journey, to everyday, somehow, learn to accept that I am loved--and to show that in my daily life. It sounds so selfish, yet it is in the acceptance fully of love that I can be so much more giving in love, and be an ambassador for the One who loves us completely, exactly where we are at right now.

And maybe even a story of Hope for someone else.

You are blessed! Your soul's winter is over. The snows are over and gone. Flowers are blooming inside of you. The season of joyful song has come. To you.
You are blessed! The love of God is folly. No one is excluded. All (really) are called to the banquet table. Come, and be filled.
brendan manning/The Furious Longing of God
How are you being filled at His banquet table today?
Love you,

Friday, July 31, 2015

Quiet, Chaos, then Quiet

Honestly, the wind was quiet only moments before. I never expected to find myself kicking through storm waves, my eyes on the shore, only moments later. 

But isn't that often what life stirs up for us? A moment of quiet turning into a moment of stormy chaos? 

Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. Matthew 8:24

I was a guest at my friends cabin property. We'd taken a walk down to the lake, a kayak and paddle board in tow. After a quick lesson from my girlfriend's husband, I balanced myself on my knees on the paddle board, getting a feel of it before taking the leap to standing. 

I never made the leap.

Instead I found myself sailing fast from shore, strokes of my paddle not changing my course. A sudden wind had swept up under skies where once distant clouds now shadowed me. 

Feeling panic rise up in my stomach, I looked behind me, back to the shore. My friend's husband was running toward me, waving. He'd seen I was in trouble.

My stomach began to ease. He had seen me. 

Knowing I could not paddle against the rising waves, I slipped into the water. Holding the board with one arm, I kicked against the rising waves, moving toward shore and toward my friend's husband who was now in the water too. 

Soon we met up, and he took the board from me, Moments later we were both safely on shore, light shared laughter between us over the adventure. 

Back to a quiet moment after the stormy chaos. 

And I wondered, as we walked back to the cabin in the wind and rain, how often do I panic in my storms of life, forgetting that He is always there with me to calm the waves?

The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." Matthew 8:25-26

God controls both the storms of nature and the storms of our heart. 

There is no need to panic. 

We just need to keep our eyes on Him, our refuge and strength. 

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah
Psalm 46:1-3

May you feel His presence in your moments today, in both chaos and calm. 



Monday, July 20, 2015

Looking up.

"What a different relationship you begin to develop when you realize that God is head-over-heels in love with you!....And He loves you deeply, recklessly and extravagantly--just as you are."
Surrender to Love, David G Benner

TEXT: Do you think God abandons you?

ME: Kind of. Didn't understand His ways. And thought I was being punished. I did some pretty crazy stuff as a non-Christian! lol  You ever believed that?

TEXT: No. In the hardest of times I knew He was there. He brought me through. And I know He is always with me.

ME: Thank you. Your faith inspires me. I'm still kind of a 'baby' Christian, hey?

TEXT: :) We all have our own path He leads us on to build a relationship with Him. Have a great day my friend!

Smiling, I slip my phone back in my purse and start my car. It is the end of a work day. And I am content.

Content to be witness to a faith so strong that it did not waiver in a storm that may have uprooted me to a dark place of confusion and questioning. Content to have a new friend that God used to speak to me of His faithfulness in my times of doubt. A friend who helped me understand the battle of principalities and of the refining when being in the desert. Content to have a new friend that I looked up to for answers on faith, on trust, on God's way.

Yet, I was reminded of a conversation of weeks ago; a pastor encouraging me to look up and not to others.  To look up to God for everything.  I was still looking at others, my circumstances, and my own agenda on how life should go to show me God's character, to grow in faith and trust.

It is time to grow up and look up.

And to walk the path He has for me, developing our relationship, getting to know Him, and experiencing Him myself instead of just through others.

And to trust His way

It's been weeks now since last connecting with that new friend. But that is ok.

I trust His way of giving and taking away, His way of bringing others in our life for a moment, or a season, or a lifetime, to bring us closer to Him--part of His master plan we cannot see.

And I feel His love so strong for me as He cares enough to make me look up only to Him! He is showing me how precious I am to Him, how He wants me to know Him completely, by my own understanding, instead of leaning on others.

So I cling to the only One available for me in this desert experience. And I look up. I have no where else to look. But I know He is there. Because I am beginning to truly understand and see, hear, feel and sense Him.

And I know He has never abandoned me. Nor you.

Even if in a storm, even if the healing hasn't come, or the prayer not been answered, may You know His 'head-over-heels' love for you today!

Love you,